Wednesday, May 25, 2011

From F*** You to Love You

Everyday I am surrounded by sound. People chattering about important things or jokes.
I’m not sure.
People asking questions or making random comments.
I’m still not sure.

I see lips move and hear sounds, but too often the sounds are too fast for my brain to form into possible words. My brain spins. I reach for water to soothe the swelling headache from being in over-drive mode all day long.  I want to understand.

“You speak so well”
Yes, I know.
But in a crowd, speaking is all I can do. I piece together words and hope I’m following along.

I just want to know what they are saying. I don’t care if it was important or not. Please tell me! I feel so alone in the middle of a chittering crowd.

I see someone standing alone. I want to get to know her and introduce myself. Hi! I’m Christina!
Her mouth opens, lips moving. The sound absorbs into the atmosphere.

Someone approaches me. Lips moving slowly, voice loud and clear. Finally.
“How do you say ‘F---’ in sign language?”

Is that all I am? All my language means to you? I don’t  understand.

Someone else approaches me. In addition to moving lips, I see moving hands.
“I want to listen. Talk to me. I love you.”

I love you too. Thank you.

I understand.

(Photos found from Google Image Search)


  1. I feel alone in the chittering crowds and wish I could shut them out - they make me feel more lonely to hear it all but still not be included. Great post Christina... the chittering is probably irrelevant or "who is that beautiful woman... I wish I knew sign language... it is so cool to be able to communicate without the distraction of the chittering and to be completely focused on the conversation you are in"

  2. Thanks for providing a "hearing" perspective. Crowds, so full of people, can be the loneliest place of all regardless of who you are!

  3. Thanks for this. My father has hearing loss and his experience is similar.

    I am also amazed at the mumbled and indistinct messages people leave on his voice mail, despite his greeting that notes: "Please leave a clear and distinct message, as I am quite hard of hearing".

    All this is evidence that as humans we are often limited in understanding other's experience when it is different than our own. Thanks for the reminder of how important it is to try and realize another perspective.